Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I'm Going to Pistol Whip the Next Person Who Says 'Bitter Sweet'
What an insightful comment. How very sensitive and original of you to recognize that my wedding will be both sad and happy, what with my dad dying like a month before I am getting married. You should be a counselor or something, with thoughtful things like that to say. You know exactly what to say during difficult and emotionally trying situations. And you are not at all the fiftieth person to say that to me either. Oh, and reminding me that my dead father will be there in spirit is a great way to help me feel extra shitty for attempting to feel some happiness that day while everyone else in my family will be feeling extra alone.
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You should print this on little business cards and keep them in your purse (or bra, whichever is more convenient). It'll be a nice passive-aggressive way to say, "FUCK YOU." It'll be cathartic.
ReplyDeleteI will never say that to you because I know you will drive up here and totally pistol whip me. You I know people are trying to be helpful, but really. Just SHUT UP. You know it's gonna be bittersweet. You know what? That's not even the right word, and I don't know what the right word is. Painful and a chance to celebrate love and all that. But I mostly like Mariah's idea.
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