Cult is Such a Strong Word

I noticed there are a lot of you out there anonymously reading my blog, which I really appreciate. But I think it would make our blog relationship stronger if you became not just readers, but followers as well.

I know, I know. "Follower" sounds so Jesus-and-discipley, but hear me out.

Commitment can be scary, I understand that. However, there are a great deal of benefits to becoming one of my followers.
1. The satisfaction of that group "belonging" feeling. When you are a part of something, you feel a certain amount of comfort knowing that there are others out there like you. Once you join the group of my followers you'll know you aren't the only one in the world who reads my blog and thinks "Why would she write that?" and "Why would she write that and then put it on the internets?"
2. Instant e-mail updates. As a follower, you have the option to receive an e-mail every time I post a new entry. Isn't that great? This way, you'll know exactly when I have my most recent, inappropriate thoughts. Imagine getting an e-mail during work hours with one of my blog entries that contains some really bizarre comment about my work environment. You'd know I was blogging on my employer's time! Not that I would do that, but still.
3. Guaranteed access to your afterlife of choice once you die. What other blog author can promise you that? I don't want to go into details in this post because they are lengthy and very technical. But, seriously. It's totally legit.

So, just sign up to be my follower. You don't even have to put your real name or comment on my posts. Just let me know that you are out there. I promise, you will not regret this, especially later, when you die. And hey, after we get to know each other a little better we can talk about you moving to the compound and becoming a member of the inner group.