7.20.11
Hollywood, CA -- During filming of her Lifetime Television reality series, Paris Hilton complained to some other skinny blond girl about people not knowing the real her, in what can only be described as the most annoyingly nasal voice ever caught on digital media.
"It's like, people don't know who I really am, and stuff" Hilton said, "They don't even know what I do," she continued after a day of acupuncture, driving around in a really expensive pink car, eating at restaurants with tiny tables and doing voice-overs to narrate aforementioned actions.
The two thin blond girls talked some more about not being understood by the public after being offended by another blond girl who mentioned the infamous sex tape Hilton was seen in several years ago.
"I can't believe she even brought that up," Hilton told the skinny blond girl who was still her friend, right before Hilton's voice over changed topic to her current pregnancy scare.
The rest of the episode Paris Hilton spent laying in her bed, telling her current boyfriend how angry it makes her when the media says she looks fat and how that made her think she was pregnant. "I'm a business woman" Hilton concluded, "I'm just not sure that a big stomach really matches my brand, so I don't know what I would do if I was pregnant."
The episode ended with the star taking the pregnancy test, since "looking fat, according to bloggers and paparazzi" and "that outfit not fitting in Spain" are two of the top symptoms of pregnancy. The new boyfriend mistakenly proposes marriage before the results are revealed, but then takes the offer back and suggests they go for a jog instead, once it is discovered she has only gained a few pounds, rather than become pregnant.
In the end, our heroine learned that if she wants people to know the real her, she must listen to her own instincts and stay true to... Wait, no. She doesn't learn anything.
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