These were the contents of my shopping cart at Target last night. A large bag of cat food, a meat tenderizing hammer (special care taken that it is the dishwasher safe model) and two 2-pack air fresheners. That's four air fresheners. As I exited the retail market, a number of possible newspaper headlines ran through my mind:
Area Cat Owner has Stinky Home and Tough Meat
Lonely, Smelly Cat Lady Doesn't Like to Wash Kitchen Tools by Hand
Crazy Woman Lures Neighborhood Cats, Bludgeons Them, Hoards Carcasses, Police Alerted by Smell of Death and Fresh Waters
Huge Sale on Cat Food, Meat Tenderizers and Air Fresheners!
Local Chef Actually Cat-Person, Hid Tail Under Apron and Feline Odor with Plug-Ins
Meow Mix and Lavender Fragrance Theft at All Time High, Protect Your Goods!
Psychosis Often Begins with Over Analysis of Personal Retail Purchases
I like the last option the best!
ReplyDeleteWe also have a dishwasher safe meat tenderizer. We should probably invest in some air fresheners, but almost all the outlets in our house are sideways, so the plug in kind don't really work very well.
Also, I wish I lived so close to Target that I could go for just three items and not feel like a tree killer. In order for me to feel okay about going to any retail establishment, I have to need at least 10 items. When I lived in an area where Target was conveniently on my way to and from places, I went all the f*ing time. And spent too much money. So it's probably good that I don't spend all my free time there like I used to.