I Tol' You I was Fancy

What did I tell you? What. Did. I. Teeeellllllll you? I said I was high class, well now there is proof. Do you see what this is? It's a chan-do-lier. Yeah I know it's in a box. Mmmm-mmm. But not for long. Soon, that shining, 16-bulb, mirrored, sparkling spectacle will be hanging over my head while I eat dinner. Every night. Right now the light fixture above our kitchen table only has five bulbs. Five. How can I be expected to eat my deluxe macaroni and cheese dinner beneath only five bulbs? That's right. I said deluxe mac and cheese. I don't buy that plain old three-for-a-dollar boxed kind any more. No way. I buy the mac that already has the cheese made for me in the shiny silver package. See? I've advanced my lifestyle in every way.

I am telling you, what they say is true. More is never enough. I used to nay say those lifestyles of the rich and famous people on the TV, you now, like on MTV Cribs? Who needs all that? I used to say. They have packed refrigerators with Cristal and garages full of cars. I'm just like those people now, shoot. Our garage is packed with our truck and Honda. You open my fridge and all you can see is shelves full of two bottles of juice. Orange AND apple. I'm telling you. Maybe this whole luxury thing is getting too big for me...