I know you are really busy with this whole Osama DNA testing thing, but I was wondering. I have had like, no luck on the Maury show finding out who my baby daddy is, and I was hoping you could maybe check that Osama DNA for me?
It's probably a long shot, I know. But I've already had those guys at Maury's check Darnell, Leon, Frankie, Paulie, Stevie, Angel, Paco, Lalo, Lupe and Eddie. I was gonna see if they could look for Juanito, but I think he was locked up at the time I got pregnant with Junior, so it's probably not him anyway.
I guess what I'm saying is that you guys are checking that dead Bin Laden guy's DNA anyway, so it wouldn't be much extra work to see if maybe he's my baby daddy. If he is maybe his cave family has oil money or something that I could get for child support, you know? I mean, Junior's got brothers and sisters who have daddys that never send their checks neither, and they need pampers and whatnot too. So, you know, just let me know.
No kidding. I can think of many topics more deserving of the massive over-hype this development has garnered. I would go on, but I don't feel like being flagged for a government watch list.
ReplyDeleteDear Welfare Recipient,
ReplyDeleteOsama is not really dead. We just made this story up to fuck with all the imbecile Americans, so they will concentrate on how we stuck our boot in his ass and not try to overthrow Washington or take out our Beloved Obama.
If Maury can't get DNA results in 24 hours, do you seriously think we could perform a top secret mission, clean it up, perform a DNA test, give him a "proper" Islamic burial and get rid of photos, videos, audio clips? Bitch please.
As a side note~Obama is the father of your child. When he was jerking off to your blog post we saved some presidential pimp juice.
Warm Regards,
Uncle Sam